I lay in bed and listen to the alarm scream at me. Bastard, I don't want to be up this early. After staring at the wall for five minutes I decide to get my lazy bum out of bed, hop in the shower and get ready for the days shenanigans. We check out and head towards Dayton about 8:30. We could not stop laughing as we hit miles and miles of Tom Raper signs. This guy has RVs, homes, and truck parts. I'm not trying to be full of hate, but if my last name were Raper, I would not advertise it. Just sayin. Full of excitement, we inch closer to the next Johnny destination. In my mind I imagine Dayton as a close relative to Indianapolis, a smaller big city. When we pull into town I am full of disbelief of how quiet and bare the streets look. Now is the part where you look away if you are a fan of Dayton, or Ohio in that matter....you have been forewarned. Dayton sucks.Seriously folks, we wandered around the supposedly "hot spot" of Dayton for about two hours waiting for the shops to open. Everything was closed and the streets were bare. We stopped in a liquor store/deli and I asked the young man what was good with Dayton. To which he replied "Nothing." Great, this trip is off to a fantastic start. Around noon the sleepy town starts to awaken, bodies appear on the sidewalks and the doors open for business. I picked up a couple new albums for my record collection including Dolly Parton, Conway Titty and Loretta Lynn duets, a Johnny album I don't currently own and and last but not least a Kenny Rogers album that supposedly has a history with my parents. Jerry picks up Aerosmith, Grateful Dead, Pink Floyd and a couple others I can't recollect at the moment. We hit up a vintage 50's clothes store called Feathers, the Goodwill and decide that there is nothing else in this area. Lets wander the city.
After riding in circles for about a half hour we find the baseball stadium and take a couple pics. With this city failing to keep my attention we agree Cincinnati would be a great destination. Hop on I-70 to I-75 South. Now if you are my true friend, compadre, partner in crime, or just a really good acquaintance you know I absolutely heart anything kitschy. For those of you new to my world here's a quick definition...
Kitsch (kch) 1. Sentimentality or vulgar, often pretentious bad taste, especially in the arts.
So the plans to hit Cincinatti were slightly derailed when we crept up on this wonderfully tacky flea market. My world was turned upsdie down once I came across Traders World. This unique flea market is decorated with giant cement giraffes, ducks, buffalo, frogs, etc. The sheer "wow" factor of the outside made my toes curl in excitement. This very thing made up for Dayton sucking. Filled with generic tools, hats, car accessories, clothes, toys, sports memoribillia, restaurants, a pony ride, and a carousel among many other things. The madness sprawled over twelve different builidings, both inside and out. I cannot begin to explain the hilbillies that surrounded us, it seriously put People of Walmart to shame! We spent about 4 hours getting lost while picking up a Rte. 66 sign and some kettle corn that was addicting like cocaine.
After hours of overbearing excitement the nearest motel was calling our names. We headed out to the Economy Inn, dropped off our bags and headed out for a bite to eat. The county brochure recommended we try out Riverside Cafe in Hamilton, OH. We did, it was okay. The best part about it was watching Jerry make this lil old mans day by discussing sports. I concentrated on the beer in front of me. We then hit up an Irish "Pub" across the street from our motel. It was more of a sports bar but seduced our appetites with some wonderful burgers and beer. Much more my pace than the upscale bar with $5 beers. This called it a night and we head back to the motel for a good nights sleep.
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